Shelley’s memorial was held at All Faiths Funeral Services on August 2, 2024.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
Psalm 23
Ron’s Witness
I met Shelley in 1990 at a Bethany church single's group dance. I remember being impressed with what a joy and how easy it was to dance with her. Little did I know then that that dance was only the first of what would become 34 years of joyously dancing through life with her.
Marriage About a year later we were married. I had joked with her that I was an old fashioned sort of guy, and wouldn't propose to her until she'd met my mother in LA and had gotten Mom's blessing. Many months went by, and we finally packed up all the kids and made a trip to LA. I think it was on our 3rd day in LA that we all went to Disneyland. I think that Shelley had thought that I would propose to her the day that we got to LA after meeting my mom, but by the 3rd she had totally forgotten about it. You see, Shelley had been an instant hit with my family, blending in as if we had all known her for years. (I'm guessing many of you here have experienced that same feeling with her). Well when we got to the castle at the end of Main Street, I handed the the old VHS video camera to Brian and walked her over to an alcove on the bridge, dropped to one knee and proposed. My family cheered behind us as Shelley accepted.
We didn't get a video of that. In my excitement I had failed to tell Brian what was happening, so he was off filming the top of Cinderella's castle when the proposal happened. We did reenact the proposal years later, which is the picture we put in the rotation.
We were married several months later, the beginning of what would become 33 very happy years married together.
Blending Families But the first few years had some pretty tough spots in it. We both had unknowingly carried our brokenness from our previous lives and marriages into our new marriage. We found out that blending families is really hard! We got counseling, and we facilitated a Blended Families SS class. We learned that the odds were not good. At that time, about 50% of all marriages in the US ended in divorce, even among Christians. But for 2nd marriages involving kids that number went up to over 90%.
We knew then that the only way we'd ever survive those odds was to put Jesus at the very center of our marriage and family. We did, and 33 years later I can say with certainty that that was a very good decision. Jesus poured His blessings onto us. Thank you, Jesus.
Shelley was Frugal Those that knew Shelley very well know that she was very frugal. She loved to shop, mainly at garage sales and thrift stores. But she didn't buy much, maybe spending a few dollars. One time we went to Sam's Club to pick up bulk supplies for our family of 6, and we played a game of pretending that we each had $1,000 dollars to spend. Of course, I hadn't gotten 25 feet before I'd spent all my $1,000 dollars on a big screen TV. But by the time we finished shopping an hour later, Shelley had only managed to spend $34 of that imaginary $1,000. I don't recall what it was, but it was probably something to give to someone else.
Shelley Loved to Travel That girl loved to travel, and boy did we. We down-sized to an RV about 15 years ago, and most of the family thought we were nuts. Maybe we were? But we loved traveling together. She even traveled on her own a few times to visit with Brian and grandkids when I had to work. These weren't short trips either: Alaska one time, Korea another time. Shelley and I also traveled to nearly every state including Hawaii, Israel, Egypt, and even an African safari in Kenya.
Shelley was Calm Under Pressure Shelley was amazingly calm under pressure. I remember she was out one day and called me at home. She asked me what I was doing, and if I could come pick her up. I asked her what was going on, and she said she'd been in an accident. From her tone of voice I just assumed it was a little fender bender. I asked her if the car was still drivable, and she replied, "No, it's flipped over upside down". I asked if she was ok, and she said "Yes, I think so. I'm hanging upside down in the seat and the EMTs are working to get me out of the car". She said she was fine, except that the Sonic Diet LimeAid she'd just bought was now above her and was dripping on her.
Shelley Loved Everyone Shelley loved everyone, and even strangers could sense that. I recall several times at various stores with her where total strangers would walk up to her and start telling her their life stories and troubles. She had a God given gift of bringing comfort to others, even strangers. I remember Jackie asking her one time: Did you know that lady? She just smiled and said "I didn't, but I guess I do now".
Cancer The last 18 years of her life were spent dealing with cancer on and off. But she remained very up-beat, and didn't let it get her down. Honestly, we always felt very blessed. She was always surrounded by very dear friends and family through every ordeal, and her faith remained strong. We've lived a very full life even through it all. The cancer started some time in 2005 when we noticed a lump in one of her breasts. She always got her regular mammograms, but they hadn't shown anything wrong. The lump seemed to keep getting bigger, but her regular mammograms still didn't show anything. So in 2006 they sent us to a breast surgeon to take a closer look. I remember waiting in the doctor's office, with all the "clear" mammograms hung up on the wall. The doctor walked in looking like "Well, let's take a look and we'll get you out of here". But that's not how it went. A few years later I wrote a song about that experience. I'd like to close by playing it for you.
Cloud of Angels We had expected the news would be good. And it was clear at the start that the doctor thought the same. But the look on his face when he saw it said all he needed to say.
Emotion spread through that room like a flash. Intense confusion, shock disbelief, anger, dread, and fear. This was a day that would change everything, starting down a long scary road.
I’m so sorry that you had to travel down that road. But I thank God that He would not let you go alone. He sent so many to help us along the way that it felt like we’d been wrapped in a cloud of angels.
So many new things to learn, we would never have chosen to know. We had to get good at scheduling things; appointments, treatments, but then you were amazing your faith was so strong it helped us all to hang on.
I’m so sorry that you had to travel down that road. But I thank God that He would not let you go alone. He sent so many to help us along the way that it felt like we’d been wrapped in a cloud of angels.
They say that after 5 years you’ve made it; the danger is finally past. We’re over half way there now and I know that we’re going to make it. Cause the One that sent us those angels is still watching over you now.
I’m so sorry that you had to travel down that road. But I thank God that He would not let you go alone. He sent so many to help us along the way that it felt like we’d been wrapped in a cloud of angels, a cloud of angels God thank you for your angels
Brian’s Witness
My mother was an amazing woman. Since 2006, she fought against the monster that was cancer and time and time again she won. That’s just what she did. She made up her mind and she powered through the darkness. Faith, optimism and perseverance were her touchstones. For every set back she experienced there was a solution. Prayer.
Cancer diagnosis? She and Ron, prayed, they beat it and then bought motorcycles to ride across the country. Losing her hair from chemo, pray, then put on a wig or a scarf. Lymphedema, pary and then go get massages and wore a special sleeve to keep the swelling down. Finances were getting tight? It was time to pray again because God will provide. And He did. She and Ron received a blessing and decided to buy an RV and travel the country again. Sons were deploying to combat zones, start a prayer circle, send care packages and pray, pray, pray. Through all of this she loved her family passionately and unconditionally, she attacked life with passion and joy. And she prayed. That’s the kind of faith my mother had.
Truth be told, I’m not ready for this. Personally I think God took her home too soon. And I sit here and I wonder why? Why now? I’ll be perfectly honest, If we compared our faith to football, she’d be the Super Bowl Champions and I’d be the High School JV B-Team. It’s not even close.
Maybe that’s the reason I ask why? Why at this moment with two brand new granddaughters for her to love and cherish. Why? With a husband who was so dearly devoted to her that they should write books about their relationship, why? I’m angry, I’m upset, I feel cheated. For 47 years she’s been my rock, my world, my shelter through the storms of life. For 33 years she was married to the love of her life and for a great portion of those years she was fighting for her life. Again, why? Whether I was struggling with the heartache from love lost, the trials and tribulations of strange and cruel circumstance or I was halfway around the world on some Godforesaken battlefield, she was there. With a prayer, a kind word or simply an open ear, she was there. And now she’s gone? Why? I’ve been praying and thinking on this question for two weeks now. And in true Shelley Lisle, faithful servant of Christ fashion, I realized she’s been giving me the answers to the test my entire life.
I went through a divorce in 2011 and of course my mom was right there to help me mend. I was broken. As a man, as a father, and as a husband. I had to burn down the person I’d become and rebuild myself and I was scared to death. I had no idea how to do that. Mom was there to listen, to hug me tight, to love me and comfort me, and to hold me accountable. And then, one day I noticed yellow sticky notes started to appear at my house after she had visited and left. There must have been 30 of these notes in all and to be honest, at first I read them and then tossed them aside. I was hurting and this was overly positive, Shelley Lisle mom-speak. I had better things to do like wallow in my own self-pity after all.
But, one night, weeks after I started receiving these notes I was sitting on my back porch, alone, and the power went out in the neighborhood. Normally the street lights along that road would remain on. But they were out too. And I could see the stars. And it hit me. I ran back inside the house and started rummaging through the trash and old envelopes laying around, I tore up the whole house. And I found 10 of them and I began to read. The first two I believe I had stuck on my refrigerator. The first note was Jeremiah 29:11 , she wrote “For I know the plans I have for you, Brian, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” The next note read, “When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson I was dumfounded. So started reading the others: “When everything is going against you, remember, the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it,” Henry Ford “The greatest part of our happiness depends on our disposition, not our circumstance.” Martha Washington “It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get back up again.” Vince Lombardi
It hadn’t even occurred to me but I had carried a card she gave me just before I left for Ranger School in my wallet in 1997. I pulled out my wallet and read the card, Isaiah 40:31 “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” This wasn’t mom speak this was lessons for life that I needed to hear but I had refused to listen. That was the moment I started to heal and from that day forward those sticky notes were taped to my bathroom mirror. They’ve been taped there everyday for me to see for more than 13 years. That was my mom. And it wasn’t just these pearls of wisdom and faith written on some sticky notes. She gave counsel and wisdom like this her whole life directly and subtly. She had the gift of discernment and she weilded it like a shepherd protecting her flock.
I could stand here and tell you story after story of my mother’s faith in action. But we’d be here for days. She gave everything she had for everyone she loved and she never asked for anything in return. She was tough, she was tenacious, she was loving and she was full of grace.
Mom, I loved the funny memes and the jokes we would share back and forth. I will miss your discernment, I will miss our summer vacations across the country, I’ll miss Saturday football watching the Horns and the Bears as we yell at the TV screen, I’ll miss our long rambling talks about God, and life, and love and politics and Joe Ledger novels and The Martian and Supernatural. I’ll miss going to the movies on holidays and coming back to sit around the table and eat too much pie, while I beat Ron at Scrabble over and over. Well, come to think of it I’ll still eat too much pie and beat Ron at Scrabble.
Mom, your laugh made my heart sing, your prayers made my heart strong and now that you're gone my heart is utterly and completely broken. In time, I know, it will heal, and this pain too shall pass. I know that. And I do know that God has a plan. I will put my life in His hands as you did.
I will try to live by your lessons and I will pray, as you prayed. And I will continue to read the notes that I have taped to my bathroom mirror even after all these years. My favorite is the final message you wrote on those sticky notes...
She wrote - The Message from Phillippians 4:8 “Brian, you’ll do best by filling your mind and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly, things to praise - not things to curse. Put into practice what you have learned from me... Do that and God, who makes everything work together, will work you, Brian, into his most excellent harmonies.”
My mother was an amazing woman.
Lord thank you for blessing me, and our family, with the gift of such a wonderful mother, wife, sister and friend. She was true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious, beautiful, worthy of praise, the best mom a boy could ever hope to have.
Lord, she's yours now. Bless her and keep her safe within your arms.
And, Lord, if you could please, tell her and Joe to finally get the recipe from Gogee for his barbeque sauce and send it back down here. We would really appreciate it, Lord. Amen.
The Apostle’s Creed
I believe in God the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth; And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord: who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, dead, and buried; the third day he rose from the dead; he ascended into heaven, and sitteth at the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.
Photos Displayed Before/After Service
Music Played During Photos
Dancing With The Angels (Monk & Neagle)
When I get to where I’m going (Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton)
Shelley was active in supporting the Komen Foundation. In lieu of flowers, many made donations to the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Her fund raiser page is here
